WHAT IF

by: Minda Harts, Founder, The Memo

Happy Women's History Month.

I have been thinking a lot about the women who blazed trails before us. I've been wondering if they left this earth being who they needed to be for themselves, not just for those who would-be beneficiaries of their strength and courage. Sometimes, I think it might be easiest to live our lives through someone else's perspective because that is what most of us have been conditioned to do. We have normalized putting everyone else's dreams, ideas, opinions, and well-being at the expense of our dreams, ideas, opinions, and well-being. And when we finally decide to do what we think serves our best interest--the story that we tell ourselves might be that we are selfish. That is what society would want us to think; all the while it's okay for other groups of people to live life to their fullest, not being weighed down by racism or sexism or any other marginalized ideologies. But, WHAT IF we decided to bring the most authentic parts of ourselves to everything we do? Who would you be if you stopped seeing yourself through the eyes of someone else? I asked myself the same question, and I came up with my answer... FREE.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word free as "not determined by anything beyond its nature or being: choosing or capable of choosing for itself." When I think about the sacrifices many of us make each day, most of the time it's for other people; the ones we want to make sure stay proud of us, or some other reason. What I realized, is that as women we can also make choices that center ourselves and don't require us to shrink the parts of us that our future self will thank us for. First, though, we have to ask ourselves, "What If." What If today, I decided I will start showing up as the person I need to be for myself.

Change isn't easy, and it can even be scary, but What If this change would benefit you in the long-run? You would more than likely say it was worth it, right? The late and great author Toni Morrison said, "If you can't imagine it, you can't have it," and if you can't imagine yourself being who you need to be for yourself, then more than likely you will never meet that version of yourself. The "free" version. The version that has learned to center themselves and understand how to set clear boundaries that protects your heart and mind. It is a version of yourself that doesn't have to survive at your current job, but a version of yourself that found the strength to find or build a new table. That version of yourself is waiting on you--don't you want to meet her?

As we go into this new month, I hope you will permit yourself today to imagine who that version of yourself might be.

We will see you next month with your #MEMOMONDAY that is now monthly!